A musical selection for to help you mask the unappetizing moans, screams, and plodding footsteps of those incessant unmentionables!!
1. Gloria Estefan- Conga: I quite dare you to listen to this tune without leaping to your feet, and “celebrating life!” Why, last week I was so swept up in “doing that conga beat” that I didn’t notice an unmentionable clawing his way into a second story window. (Fear not, Mr. Bennet was waiting with a loaded musket.)
2. Amy Grant- Baby Baby: What follows marriage? Why, grandchildren, of course! When the zombies become terribly loud outside, I listen to this song, and imagine all of the children my daughters will soon produce.
4. Wilson Phillips- Hold On: Sometimes I believe these women speak directly about my plight…spectacular lyrics!!!!!
5. Cher – If I Could Turn Back Time: Putting this song on my list, DOES NOT mean I approve of Miss Cher’s incredibly offensive attire. But her voice! I can’t get enough!
6. The Carpenters – Rainy Days and Mondays: Well, I must say I was unfamiliar with this song until my dear, heartbroken Jane insisted on listening to only this song for days on end. It’s quite melancholy, but lovely all the same.
7. The Human League – Human: Not only is this a lovely song, but it reminds us of what we all are, humans! Enough with the unmentionables!
8. The Shirelles - Going To the Chapel of Love: Need I say more!?!? What a joyous song, and it really gets me thinking about what matters in life. J
9. Dirty Dancing - Time of My Life: Who can forget that final scene in Dirty Dancing when Baby and Johnny risk everything for their love!?! Why, I get goose bumps even thinking about it!
10. Tina Turner – Proud Mary: Before the plague even descended upon England, I used sing this song to dear, serious Mary. Today, she merely purses her lips at the sound of these notes, but oh how she used to dance!
11. Shania Twain – You’re Still the One: More singers should instill the value of attaining masculine attention and finding love. I © Shania!!
12. Falco- Rock Me Amadeus: Heres, a ditty that Mr. Bennet enjoys—such a novel “reinvention” of dear, familiar Mozart (though, to be quite honest, it’s not much to my own liking.)
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