Monday, October 11, 2010

Marriage, motherhood, and the "dreadful" horror of the undead!

19th Century Mombie is a correspondence dedicated to the particular (and sometimes peculiar!) difficulties of trying to raise ladylike and marriage-worthy daughters in the midst of the terrible plague that has over-run England. As a “self-proclaimed” mombie, I place the greatest importance on all manner of techniques and tactics to, as I like to say, “Get the girls married!” I also see it as my duty to counteract the gross exaggerations about my daughters’ unladylike behaviour as portrayed in Seth Grahme-Smith’s unfounded piece of fiction about my family, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

In these difficult times, my dear daughters must frequently forsake propriety in order to fight the undead—but I remain convinced that they need not fall into the “unmentionable” horror of spinsterhood! With five daughters (Elizabeth, Jane, Mary, Kitty, and darling Lydia), I consider myself quite the expert in the field, and I thought it my duty to inform my fellow matriarchs of what I’ve learned. I also find it helpful to include my personal cooking, sewing, and “socializing” techniques, as well as information on the latest and most fetching bonnet and frock styles for all those daughters out there—and the mothers that insist that they remain à la mode!

 Just because dear England is under siege by such terrible (and badly groomed) unmentionables, this is no reason to give up on the decorum and propriety that the “old guard” remember so fondly. I wholeheartedly encourage you to enjoy, benefit from, and share what you learn here.

Mrs. Bennet
Longbourn Estate
Hertfordshire, England

My latest "Mombie moment"

If you will, please allow me a correspondence in which I can boast “a little” about my dear, dear daughters. As you all know, my eldest daughters, Lizzy and Jane, are lovely. But they are entirely too ensconced in their little world of zombies and the men who enjoy slaying them (the zombies, not the daughters. Ha! Ha!) So today I’d like to speak about my two youngest: Kitty and Lydia.

Rarely is a mother so blessed with the ability to allow their daughters to “roam free” without worrying that they will find themselves in a pile of wilted leaves, the curse of the plague upon them, and their every hope of marrying dashed to a thousand undead pieces!  But no, not only are Kitty and Lydia quite equipped to ward of even the most terrifying undead, but they are also adept at attracting some very living (and very handsome) men! 

I simply couldn’t help but have a mombie “moment of pride”—and share these paintings of Kitty and Lydia in Meryton Village. They were so rosy-cheeked and witty that I dare say their presence tempted every dashing naval officer—living and undead—in all of Hertfordshire.